Newbro Story: Strili

This post is for new players as part of a campaign on the part of the Concordiat corporation to bring new people into EVE. If you are intrigued by the game but do not play yet, refer to this post and then start a free trial here.

The Life of an Elitist

I, like any caring elitist jerk, thought eve online was a game that could be conquered. Mastered. I took the plunge with nothing and no one to guide me along my journey except my dreams of blowing up everyone and everything in my privatized Death Star for hire.

It was the year of 2007. Because of all my obvious abilities and success in other MMO's, what was Eve going to be but another game under my belt? Being a lover of the stars and an Astronomy guru, I thought "Ha, this is gonna be perfect". I got into my little ship and flew around killing tutorial frigates. I was raping and pillaging the country side like a spaceship riding, Ghenghis Khan. In fact, I even made my character have an asian "flair" to appeal to my utter conquest of the stars.

I made my frigate my horse of triumph. Rail guns, the biggest the galaxy had to offer, were fit onto my Fatboy--The Tristan. The game would throw up to three enemies at me, but they exploded gloriously as my guns burned through their souls. Damn, I was good.

Killing NPC's wasn't enough to sate my appetite. I wanted real blood. I was thirsty. I smiled like the Grinch and floated into low sec where I heard noobs often fell prey. I gated into Reblier, the system that held my dreams.

The Death Star Exploded.
I died.
Instantly.

I was pretty sure I died twice before my mind and fingers were numb. What...the...f*** just happend? I was in some little seed looking thing in a hanger bay. I frantically tried to look for what had happened.

Reality happened. Luke Skywalker shoved his force of 1400mm Howitzers into my still standing Death Star. Princess Lasers broke my pod and my heart. Bitch.

Eve Online--Making noobs know their place, and that place sure the hell isn't in Reblier.

Now I'm a Newbro back in nullsec broing it up. Exploding in Healing ships is almost as cool as what happened that day...I sure wish my Death Star could have had friends...